Even the cheeriest of people have a bit of a dark side to them. Maybe it’s deep down inside of them. Maybe it’s hidden away. But it’s there. It’s definitely there. So in the hypothetical event in which you’d be living out a sort of “Clue” scenario and would therefore need a murder weapon of your choosing, you’ll need to dig deep inside into that dark pit of yours to pick one. Just how dark does that pit of yours get? Keep reading to discover your murder weapon of choice, according to your Zodiac. Which murder weapon would you choose? Let us know!
Virgo. If there’s one thing anyone can say about you, it’s that you’re efficient. This is precisely why, when it comes to choosing a murder a weapon, poison is the way to go. You’d rather not have a mess on your hands, and you’d also rather not have any ties to the crime. So, poison.
Aries. Your murder weapon of choice needs to exude adventure. It needs to represent movement and suddenness. This is why the bow and arrow is perfect for you. You don’t need to bother with gizmos or gadgets — just the few tools you have at hand.
Capricorn. Whether it has to do with cheerfulness or darkness, you’d just rather not get yourself involved. This is exactly why your murder weapon of choice would have to be a grenade. With a grenade, you can literally just throw a solution at your problems and be done with it.
Scorpio. When it comes to choosing a murder weapon, most people settle on the basics. But not you. You go a step further. You use the “Necronomicon” (or book of the dead) to summon Hell’s demons to tear out the soul of your enemy. How lovely.
Taurus. You like to consider yourself a relatively placid individual, but you’re only as calm as your lifestyle permits. When everything is going well, you’re doing fine. But when everything is spiraling downward, you get a little bumpy — not unlike some rocky water, which, incidentally, is your murder weapon of choice.
Leo. At your core, you’re a protector. You’re at your best when you’re keeping those closest to you safe. This is why the pistol is your murder weapon of choice. You’re not looking for theatrics or style. You just want to get the job done, if there’s ever such a heinous job that needs doing.
Pisces. It’s not that you’re lazy, it’s just that your head is sometimes in the clouds. It wanders. But that’s OK. “Not all who wander are lost,” after all. So when it comes to choosing a murder weapon, you need something simple and quaint. You need a noose. It’s a bit more personal than you’re likely to be, but maybe that’s a good thing.
Sagittarius. Since the only murdering you’d be capable of is killing people with kindness, that’s exactly your weapon of choice. It’s kindness. Not exactly the most badass of choices, but it’s yours all the same. Just be happy that it won’t put you behind bars. OK?
Gemini. You can handle just about anything. You adapt. You’re naturally skilled. But when it comes to choosing a murder weapon, you needn’t show off any of those qualities. You go the classic route (as in classic horror, ala “Halloween”). You choose the kitchen knife. Hell, when you’re done using it, you could even incorporate it into your dinner. See? Adaptability.
Aquarius. If blood must be shed, then it’s going to happen under as light a circumstance as you can manage. This is why your murder weapon of choice is a pair of nunchucks. Horse around, have some fun and if, god forbid, something lethal comes into play, it was all in good fun. Right?
Cancer. There are few weapons more relatable to your emotional bouts than the chainsaw. Just like you, it can seem docile and steady, but just like you, it can also go berserk without a moment’s notice. The chainsaw was made for you.
Libra. If you’re going to embrace something as horrific as murder, then you’re going to do it with some style. It’s only natural. Just like Beatrix Kiddo in “Kill Bill,” your murder weapon of choice is the katana. It’s strong, reliable, efficient and glorious, which is precisely how you see yourself.