All of us have little problems in our day-to-day lives. Traffic jams, toilet paper shortages, flash flooding. Then there’s this guy, who has a big problem. A really big problem. While most of us are wishing we had a bigger manhood, Roberta Cabrera had his wishes answered. Now he’s got a monster penis, but he can’t do a thing with it. Watch the video with the full interview and details at the end of this slideshow.
Like everything in life, gigantic penises aren’t just luck. They also require hard work and dedication, which is exactly what Cabrera’s been doing since he was a teenager. For three decades, he’s been adding bands and small weights to his reticulated python, and letting gravity take care of the rest. Imagine if he had decided to cure cancer instead.
All in all, a 19-inch beast is not as fun as it sounds. The boner blood flow alone is enough to make him dizzy, and his size and girth mean that he actually can’t have sex anyway. All the foreskin means Cabrera gets Urinary Tract Infections all the time, and he can’t actually kneel because it’s too painful. Or run. Or (we’re guessing) ride a bicycle.